Jezreel Faith Manugue Jez Manugue JRC Jesus Revival Church G12 St. John's Academy CLSU

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Saving the Last Dance for Me: A Wake-up Call

It was past 2 PM of Saturday, February 23 ’08 – a day after the prom night, when Donna (a youth back-up) told me about an sms she just received. Staring at her cell phone, she told me, “Jez, patay na daw si Juancho.” (Jez, Juancho has just passed away).

Not wanting to believe, I answered back, “Baka naman na-aksidente lang. naku, ha. Hindi magandang joke.” (Perhaps it was just an accident. That’s not a good joke.) We waited for another reply from the one who sms-ed her, but after minutes of waiting, the message we received was sort of “Wait lang, nag-iiyakan na kami dito. Patay na si Juancho.” (Hang on. We’re weeping here. Juancho has already died.).

I felt really, really cold. Idk. Maybe that was just a reflex with sudden death.

I then remembered an instance that occurred the night before his death – our first talk after some time, our last talk, our first dance, our last dance - his last dance that evening, the last dance of his life.

During the dance time at the prom on February 22, as I was supposed to go downstage already to take a sit, one of Vanj (my younger sister)’s classmate asked me for a dance. He said, “Ate Jez, pwede po ba kitang masayaw?” (may I dance with you?), but I replied “Huh? Naku, why me? Hindi ako kasali dyan. Hindi na ako high school (in a cute manner naman)” (I’m not included here/ there. I’m past to being in high school.) And so he insisted with a pa-cute “sige na ate, Jez. Please ate. Sige na.. Sige na..”. There.. I ended up being on the ground with students around shouting “Ang lakas ni Juancho!”. It was a distinct and equally funny experience. Imagine me with a high school senior ---my sister’s classmate! Anyway, while having our very short dance, he humorously told me, “ate, nakatingin po yata si Pastor. Baka naman tanggalin na ako sa school niyan.”. (I think Pastor (your dad) is looking. Perchance he’ll get me out of your school.). Anyway, we only had less than a minute of dancing, but I remember telling him “Wala ka nung Sunday. Nag-dance tayo, ha. Punta ka sa Sunday - 4 PM.”. (You were absent last Sunday (at the church). We danced tonight… Come on Sunday – 4PM).

That night, he was the only person who approached me for a dance. Everybody was held back on approaching me since aside from being the emcee, I am the school owners’ daughter! But then, by chance (or probably by God’s will), that one young man asked me alone for a very short dance. (The prom only had less than 30mins of dancing). To let you know him more, that young man seldom attends church contrary to the excellent church attendance of his mother. We haven’t really had enough chances to consolidate him. He hasn’t been at our youth nets, youth services, or camps, but we know him.

I do not want to get all emo here, but the point is that I feel accountable for his soul. I have known him for years, but never really got the nerve to focus on winning him for the Lord. We know that things do not work by chance. Things happen for reasons. In addition, getting to dance with him the night before his death is, I’m sure, not an accident. Now I feel even more responsible.

Attending his wake, I heard his mother cry out: “Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta”. Sis. Perla, Juancho's mother, wasn’t sure where his son would spend eternity. I, too, am not sure where he would. Of best hopes, I wish he had a chance to receive Christ even seconds before he was taken off his breath.

But then again, only the Lord knows the truth.

This is a great wake-up call for me and for the youth ministry, and I hope for everybody, as well.
Let us not waste time and possibilities of sharing the Lord’s gift of salvation to other people.

I thought I had enough passion for the lost, but I realized I need more.

Lord, I am sorry for my shortcomings and negligences. Please forgive me.
Give me a greater passion for compassion.

Please pray for me. I am having quite culpable feelings.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

SJA's 1st JS Prom

St. John’s Academy had its first Juniors-Seniors Promenade last night at the K of C Hall. I was there to do emceeing with Tchr. Jacky, the HS English teacher.

Arrived there with mom, dad, and Vanj at around 6:30, but the program started at past 7pm. Everything seemed perfect when I entered the hall. I was like in a fairytale as the guard opened the glass door with his eyes so bright and smile so vivid. I was brazen out by the huge red letterings on the stage that read “St. John’s Academy – 1st JS Prom”. Above the big inscriptions were hanging long cloths in pink and lavender aligned with the dazzling large chandeliers. The chairs and tables wrapped in light blue and white looked even better with flowers on top of them.

On the right side, I saw flashes and smiling ladies handed with cute colorful pouches. They kept on carrying and showcasing their best smiles before the camera man. Ladies, after being photographed, were assisted by their prom partners who were very finesse on their black coat-and-ties. Everyone has partners. Every gentleman has someone clinging on his muscular arms.

I saw eyes on me as I stepped into the marble-made floor of the cold hall with my bronze A-cut dress, gold pouch, and golden strappy sandals.

Alright. Much of the feature writing :-P I’m not really good at it. Let’s just say, I have to leave that skill to Coreen.

Anyway, the program started-off with the entrance of colours and the presentation of SJA’s high school faculty members, together with mom and dad. Next was the alluring parade of the promenade-ers who walked by pairs. [Btw, a shoutout of sorry to John Carlo of the junior class for mispronouncing your name! The list given to me had “Juan Carlo” in it, instead of John Carlo. :-D]

Okay, I do not wish to get on the details. Basta it was really good. It wasn’t the typical high school prom. It was very meaningful, contrary to the dance-oriented promenades of most high schools. Tapos ang pretty pa ng emcee. :-D Jk.

I don’t really wish to add more to those I’ve already said (typed). Basta, I had fun. It was sooo fab! Yeah. Fabulous, really.

Photos are uploaded here (only my contacts can view them, though).

Sunday, February 17, 2008

First Youth Service


Do you remember how much fun you had when you played a fave game or ate a fave food after months of not having access to it? Well, triple that joy and that’s what I have right now.
After the service last Sunday, we were told that we’ll be having a youth service beginning this week. Not really our first youth service, but our first youth service after a long period of stopped (due to tight church sched).
Pastor Phil, our youth pastor, then called for a youth leaders’ meeting last Monday evening to plan for the YS. At the middle of the meeting’s first part, Ptr.P asked me, “Pwede bang yung overhead muna gamitin natin?”. Ayun pala, he will be telling afterwards than I will be leading.
Wow. After almost 6 month of focusing in the dance ministry as well as with multi-media, I am leading worship again :) Honestly, by heart seemed to be pumping out more blood than the usual after Ptr. P told me about it.
During our prayer after the first part (delegation of tasks), I had a really strange feeling of coldness and warmth coming along together. My tummy was like I don’t know, and I hardly can control the tears flowing from my eyes. I felt the Holy Spirit around me. It was, for me, a confirmation as well as anointing.

My line-up also confirmed the unity of our Spirits when Ptr.P sent me his suggested line-up last Wednesday (we usually ask them for suggested songs, but the final line-up has always been our prerogative) since I figured out that most songs he suggested were actually on my line-up! So anyway, the final line-up was:
  • Give Us Clean Hands
  • Come, Now is the Time
  • We Want to See
  • Open the Eyes of My Heart
  • I Stand in Awe of You
  • Awesome God
  • The Stand
  • Everyday (for acquaintance)

We had our first rehearsal last Thursday and our second yesterday (Saturday).

After the service this morning, the youth worship team together with the dance team (siyempre, moi ijas must be included. Haha) had lunch at KM160 (formerly Lapu-Lapu) restaurant. It was supposedly mom’s treat (she gave me the budget), but Ptr.P and Ptra. Cecille (not Ptra. Cecille as in the youth pastor for girls, but Ptr.P’s wife) actually paid for our lunch (thank you.. thank you.. ang babait ninyo.. thank you!).
We were about to go straight to church and just get fixed there for the youth service, but since we finished having lunch by 2PM, we’ve decided to just meet at 3.

The service started at 4:40 – 40 minutes late – because there has been a fuse problem, which Julius (Moo) and I were blissfully able to fix naman (yeah, technicians na kami).
I wasn’t really secured of a good voice flow at first because my throat seemed to be really dry. However, I was made secured remembering the conversation the Lord and I had during my quiet time last night (uhm, this early morning, actually). Instead of trying harder, I started to surrender and trust more. “Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” Psalms 37:7a
I must’ve done a terrible task if I relied on my own strength and capability. But then, I just let my spirit connect with the Spirit of God that He may deal with the young people through me, as the worship leader.
It was just great. Thank You, Lord. My trust is completely in You.

Holistically, the youth service was, I can say, very effective. It brought an impact on the lives of the young people, including me. Truly, as the old line goes, when we work, we work, but when we pray, God works! –All these were made possible because of the fervent prayers of the church leaders, youth pastors, youth leaders, and everyone who had a passion for it.

Way to go, JRC Youth! :)
See y’all next Sunday.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Prom Etiquette (Prom Do's and Don'ts)

SJA - HS Department will be having its first Junior-Senior Promenade/ Prom on the 22nd of the month. I am currently working with the other staff for this event.

Anyway, last Monday afternoon, mom gave me 2 hours to conduct a briefing on social graces and prom etiquette with the juniors and seniors.

I tackled topics like how to ask a lady to be your prom date, do's and don'ts with regards to being with your prom partner, dinner etiquette, solution to possible prom mishaps, prom dance positions and guidelines, and others like.

Click on the thumbnails for larger and clearer views.

Prom Etiquette 1Prom Etiquette 2Prom Etiquette 3

Btw, I will also be emceeing for SJA's first ever prom :)
I'm so excited. I would be attending a prom night for the third time. Yay!

Tagged by Jo Ng and Christina

Hey, Joseph.. Sorry lar if I wasn't able to do the first stuff.
Anyhow, here's the second one!

Oh yeah. I've been tagged from Malaysia :)

1. Apple notebook!
2. Driver's license
3. wish that atleast 40% of my friends would create their own blogs. It's 2008 now, friends!
4. ending of this semester
5. vacation! Sleep! Travel! and more sleep and travel :-D

Jo Ng aka Jelly_chia. Haha.
Christina/ Chris Cheah

1. Quiet (we didn't get to talk much during the PB)
2. Thin
3. Has a good voice (yeah. he did back-up for PB's 2nd day)
4. Shy-type (don't worry, Jo. With your blogs, I now see that you're not)
5. This isn't a first impression, but through Ben Soo, I see Jo Ng as one who's very passionate for young people.


1. Soft-spoken
2. Bubbly
3. sweet
4. daddy's girl (PK's are often like that)
5. quite reseved

Jo: Tag me? Haha.
Chris: Introduce me to other youth.

(Jo) You didn't do the last one either

(jo) Nah! I will report it to Ptr. Reuben :-P
(Chris) Oh no.

Can't think of any reason

1. Coreen
2. Zion R or S (either of you, two)
3. Myks
4. Nanan
5. Ben Soo
6. Kau
7. Chan
8. Joan C.
9. Grace G.
10. Jopals

He's single, I think.

still waiting for Mr. God's will ♥

People will think they're twins! Hah. Oo nga no.

That's cool! No.1 takes up International Studies. Hah. *peace, Coreen*


Last week.. at her blog's tagboard.

for VCF! :-D

at law school? None, I think.

Cousin kaya.

*hard laughs* He's a little brother to me.

They both have sisters.

This question fits 3 & 4 very much!
Anyway, I both met them through a thread for BA Chrstians at TeenTalk.

I haven't met Myks in person, though.

She stays at Manila since she goes to Ateneo.

Zion R - church mate/ play mate back Baguio City (that was like more than a decade ago)
Zion S - Jesus Revolution


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Type E Woman

Are you a Type E Woman? or perhaps a potential one? Well, read on.

The term Type E, which essentially identifies with being Everything to Everybody, is a concept of pop psychology. The idea of a Type E Woman was first read through a magazine’s cover story written by Harriet Braiker, author of the book The Type E* Woman, that tackles women and stress. She proposed that overstressed, high achieving women might better consider themselves as trapped in the catch of trying to be Everything to Everybody: Type E.

It should be noted, however, that the term “high-achieving” is referred to as a psychological state rather than as a social status. It refers to a pattern of thoughts more than to a specific level of achievement per se. The “high-achieving woman” talks about women who have multiple roles that desire to excel in all such roles. The Type E doesn’t refer to Executives only, although it is obvious that many executive women are suffering from the problem.

Men and women may both strive for success and achievement, but technically, they imply to these in different ways and thoughts. In general, men confine their achievement criteria in terms of money, professional, or corporate status. Generally, according to Braiker, men consider themselves being successful as long as they are able to carry on income and a good status in the workplace or in the social world, not regarding so much his familial relationships. Unlike most men, success and achievement have different connotations for women. However, women’s implication on success is achievement in both realms: career and personal life.

A Type E woman is that who strives to be successful in terms of attaining by objective standards of the workplace she belongs to, and achievement in the personal area of life. This yields enormous frustration and exhaustion. Trying to be the jack-of-all-trades at both realms will not only bring physiological stress, but also emotional, cognitive, and psychological strain.

A Type E Woman is found to have the Type E coping strategy: attempting to be everything to everybody –trying to do it all to have it all. Exceeding her limitations as a single person, she continually puts others’ needs ahead of her own. Through this, she believes that she is able to prove that she can do it all, that she is being successful. However, this, again, is a mechanism of self-inflicted strain or stress.

The nature of Type E stress has some factors: Excellence Anxiety, Ego Confusion, Excessive Self-Reliance, Erroneous Expectations, and Everything to Everybody Behavior.

Excellence anxiety is the link between achievement motivation and internal, psychological discomfort. This is caused by the unresolved thoughts and feelings about achievement and its relationship to femininity, acceptability, desirability, and lovability. Again, this fan the flames of the Type E stress. Many women are culturally embedded that their concern with achievement might put them at risk of social isolation. In one way or another, women are given the input that they mar be disapproved by people around them, especially by males, because of their outstanding achievement.

Achievement, then, becomes threatening to women as the conflict between their desire to be effective both in their careers and personal lives produces friction. What is required to achieve –being independent, self-confident, ambitious, and competitive, and what is required to be acceptable as a “feminine” woman – being dependent, submissive, and passive, produces an obvious strain.

To help overcome the excellence anxiety problem, the Type E woman need to work towards clarifying her definition of success. Also, she needs to work on detangling the connection between achievement motivation and the need for affiliation. One should realize that not everybody would actually like her. One’s affiliation needs can be better met by becoming selective about the quantity and quality of people you want to be close with.

Ego Confusion is a major source of underlying stress in Type E women. Women who straddle the double-domain life – work and personal – can be into psychological conflict, confusion about themselves, and consequential stress. The strain comes from the demands of a woman’s multiple roles as well as the transition of roles between the two-part self of a Type E woman: the working professional and the woman in her personal life or at home. By definition, change is stressful, and this is why constant hat-switching bombards one person’s ego.

The ego confusion is also a result of an unstable self-perception. Our sense of ego – ou self-concept – is largely an internalized projection of how other people see us. So much so, the type E woman who is striving to succeed in a once male-arena receives messages that is contrary to her current own self-concept.

In addition to the current self-concept, or extant self, we also have our ideal self. The trouble here with Type E women is when their ideal selves, instead of representing what she think she would like to be, is often the representation of what they think they should be. In effect, if the perception of the ideal self is unrealistic and extreme, Type E women would suffer from pressure for perfection.

The effective response to ego confusion, according to Braiker, is to commit oneself to a process of self-concept clarification – questioning oneself of interrogations like who am I?, what is my ideal self?, is my ideal self realistic?, and so on.

Excessive self-reliance, another major stress-producing behavior, is a cognitive attitude that results from a cycle of ungratified, frustrated dependency needs. High-achieving women find dependency as a trap to hinder their success as it is viewed as a weak point for them. Because of this, many high-achieving women are reluctant to express their needs for nurturance and support. The stress shows-up here again. Instead of having a drop, psychological needs, when continually ungratified, clamors more to be fulfilled.

As the (excessively) self-reliant woman proves her independence continually, she often finds herself unable to delegate tasks. She starts to think that another person cannot do the job as efficiently as she can. Also, she finds herself cheating whenever she distributes tasks to others. She develops more to be everything to everybody.

The solution to this problem is to recognize that you can never do it all. We all have our own limitations. It is important to accept that there are things that would be done more efficiently with more hands. One should learn to balance dependence and independence to avoid much strain.

Erroneous expectations form the cognitive bases of a Type E woman’s stressful feelings and behaviors. Braiker, through years of dealing with Type E women, identified the ten most common false expectations of women:

1. I have to do things perfectly.
2. I should be able to accomplish more in a day.
3. I should be able to do everything without feeling stressed or tired.
4. I have to please other by doing what they ask me to do.
5. I have to prove myself to everyone.
6. “Having it all” should make me happy.
7. I can’t be happy until I “have it all”.
8. I can’t relax until I finish what I have to do.
9. if I make people need me because of everything I do for them, they’ll value me.
10. I should be able to be everything to everybody.

The list isn’t contained with just the ten mentioned, however, these are the primary wrong perceptions of Type E women on dealing with the fulfillment of success.

Braiker ended her discussion on the Type E stress and behavior through presenting a 21-day mental workout. She transformed her book into a self-help one at the last chapter where simple routines for daily activities where suggested to be changed, improved, obliterated, and so on.

In conclusion, it isn’t a mortal sin to be into multiple roles. However, a woman who is at the same time a sister, a friend, a mother, a career person, should learn to maintain balance among the complex roles she juggles.

The dilemma of high-achieving women should not be how to “have it all” by doing it all themselves, being passive with stress. Instead, high-achieving women would better see the picture as how to live their lives to get most of what they really want, while maintaining quality, self-resistant lives in the pursuit of their goals.


Thoughts I've gained from reading The Type E* Woman
How to Overcome the Stress of Being *Everything to Everybody

Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D.

Saturday, February 2, 2008


I've been experiencing a LOT of improvements lately (meaning I have been under a lot of challenges as well. hehe), but I want to share two things first..

If you haven't noticed, I have a new blog header :)

AND it isn't just any header because it is my first one ( I used to have a text header before -My Somehow Secret Blog).

This is sort of a vain topic, but I might be changing layouts and headers every several month so I would want to keep track of my blog layout's evolution. Hah.


Btw, I'm loving Paint.Net. It's a downloadable photo editor from Windows.
Adobe extracted a lot of patience from me (I tried CS2), so I prefer to use this (Paint.Net) for the moment. edits aren't that bad naman, are they?
But okay, I'm still going to test my edge and try Adobe CS2 some time.

Hmm.. I know I still have a way to go with my editing uhm, skills? hah. C'mon. Everything can be improved :-D

AAAANDDD the next improvement:
St. John's Academy (both HS and Elem) has already been recognized by the Dept. of Education. This means that the next supervision would be after 50 years pa! Thank God for it. (I would be 67 then)

Out of the 5 schools that were supervised by DepEd for Recognition this month, only two passed the standards--one of which is St. John's :) PTL.

Some explanations.. The term Recognize doesn't mean that SJA has been allowed to operate just now. It's an official term for allowing a school that has passed the DepEd Standards for Private Schools to operate for 50 years independent of yearly supervisions from the Department. :)

Yehey. Level-up!

Hmm.. Enroll your future children at SJA. I might be the school principal by then. Hahah.
Ooopss... Mother dear, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I don't have immediate plans of replacing you. I still have a lot to absorb from you before I can effectively hold the school :D

Go Paint.Net!
Go St. John's!
(go, mom!)